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Then it's time for my nap." — Bob Hope. "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." — Lucille Ball. "Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." — Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. "Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
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Lifestyle 101 Funny Quotes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Turn that frown upside down with these hilarious sayings about life, love, friendship, and work. By Alesandra Dubin and Corinne Sullivan.
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1. "My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." —Socrates 2. "If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife's birthday,.
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Every time someone switches it on, I go into another room and read a good book.". - Groucho Marx. "If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.". - Steven Wright. "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.". - Ashleigh Brilliant.
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Here are 100 of the best funny quotes I could find. The goal? To make you relax, laugh, and have a good time! 😂 Life is short and the happiest people are those who live lightly ( with a smile on their hearts). You'll discover quotes by Bill Murray, Tina Fey, Jim Carrey, and more. Enjoy! I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright
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Funny Quotes 1. "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." —Mitch Hedberg 2. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the.
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Alternatively, you can add it to an Instagram caption to make people smile or write it on a Post-It for a pick-me-up. 1. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." —Thomas Eddison. 2. "If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big." —Donald Trump. 3.
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80 Funny Quotes To Make You Smile Written by Shutterfly Community Last Updated: Jul 29, 2021 There's just something about getting a good laugh in that can make your day a million times better. If you're looking for funny quotes to make you smile, to give a toast with, or to send to a loved one, you've come to the right place.
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"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - A. A. Milne Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Abraham Lincoln The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln
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Funny quotes about life. 1. "You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of by the police." -Joan Rivers. 2. "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it." -Mindy Kaling. 3. "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
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1. "I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon." — Ellen DeGeneres 2. "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." — Mark Twain 3. "I'm not.
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Inspiring Funny Quotes. Here are a few inspiring funny quotes. "Bad decisions make good stories.". — Ellis Vidler. "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.". — Andy Rooney. "Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.". — Terry Pratchett. "See the world like a big wardrobe.
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Hell no you stink. Don't be hatin'. I'd rather eat garbage then listen to your sorry ass rhymes. I got sumtin' to say, and I need the world to hear it. I'm a lyricologist. I can rap about anything. Shrink, shrink. Blinkity-blink. Tried to make me think.
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Turn life beating you down into something positive. "When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars." — Unknown. 4. Admire your own butt. "When you feel down just grab your own butt.
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Dave Beard. —Mark Twain. Zach Galifianakis. Unknown. —Unknown. —Melanie White. "Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and.
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Here Are 100 Funny Inspirational Quotes To Help Brighten Your Day. "Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. It's your GPS for the heart's wild adventures.". "Life is like a bicycle - to keep your balance, you must keep moving… and occasionally use the brakes.". "Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.